You know what?
Facing the giants is an awesome movie that everyone should watch.
It made me cry .
I was so moved by seeing how great my God is :)
How almighty, powerful, awesome, and GREAT HE IS !
Definitely, how great is my God!
With God, nothing is impossible.
Pray, and he'll answer .
<3
I shall stand firm in my faith and believe that God has my life planned out for me. Every disappointment. Every trial, every hurt . I'm sure He has His purpose behind them.
;)

You know, I wish I could in a blink of an eye, forget you . Just like that .
Not remember anything about you, plus all the days I've spent thinking about you and looking at you.
I want to forget all those happy memories .
Cause they hurt the most .
Sometimes I feel that I'm not good enough.
Yet today I feel that maybe you're not my type .
I'm not clear of my thoughts and feelings . Really I ain't .
I feel really awkward when I'm near to you, and I'm not able to even talk.
You'll probably think I'm useless, unfriendly , quiet .
But truthfully, it's just that i can't talk well to guys.
Yeah, not even to my own relatives .
Sorry to anyone who is reading this.
Kind of feeling quite annoyed and unhappy right now :>
I just want to write down the words from my mind :/

UGHHHH.
I hate love .
I hate how foolish I've been.
I hate how shy I am.
I hate how inadequate I am compared to others .
I hate the fact that I keep hating .
But I can't stop.
Cause I have sin in me .
And sin is just plain evil.
Hatred, jealousy, gossips, lies.
Sigh.
Lord, I need Your help.
I need you to just stop me from doing things I'm not supposed to do :(

You know what, life will never be smooth sailing .
Never .
God never promised us perfect lives . He only promised that He'll always be there for us .
I may not be able to see God, but I can feel His presence .
Everyday, every moment of my life .
I wish I had the bravery to tell others how they too will be able to feel this strong sense of security & love I get every single day .
Though there are many ups and downs , at least I know that no matter what, God is with me and that I can talk to Him 24/7 :)

---------
These few weeks have been quite stressful . Tests , homework, trainings , piano etc .
Scored quite well in my bio :)
-Thank God :D

Well, I think volleyball training is fun.
It's just whether you make the effort to train and improve the spots where your are weak in :)
No effort made -> no results .
I don't want to keep saying that we're gonna lose , I'm sorry.
But i don't see why we can't be serious at the right times .
Competition's coming soon. Early next year .
How are we going to do well when we can hardly receive the ball in the right position ?
I apologize for having negative thoughts .
Prove me wrong .
Tell me that whatever I've said is nonsense .
Show me how united our team is and that we're able to work together to achieve a common goal.

-----

Flag day today.
Went with Clara to novena ;)
And met with Danica and RY on the bus.
Collected loads of coins on that stretch of pavement :D
Saw Roy too at United.
Hahaha super cute <3 :D

Had a great day at novena and especially so at church ;)

Thank You Lord .
Really .
Without you I'm nothing .

This week has been a roller coaster ride . Many painful experiences and happy memories too .
Our prefectorial board had to come out with a CNY skit ( in 2 days) .
And somehow , s, v, z and I became in charge of the whole thing . Well, initiative . With power comes great responsibility .
We had to plan everything , practice , get manpower & just make sure everything went smoothly.
I thought that it would be easy, but it wasn't , trust me .
Now I know how leaders feel when people rebel against them . When people are unhappy and we have to do something to please them .
When teachers keep pressurizing and scolding them .
{ THANK GOD THE PERFORMANCE IS OVER!}
We cried , we let it out .
We worked together , us 4 .
In the end, we had fun & laughter.
Plus the embarrassment in front of the whole school.
;)
I'm just so glad it's over .
So sorry to those people who didn't get to be in the skit!
>:( next year okay?
--------

Studies are also really stressful.
Sec 3 life is already so chaotic , what will sec 4/ JC/ UNI be like?
Im struggling to cope with everything .
Maths, amaths, my sciences , even English :(
----------

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Feeling so suckish now :'(

Skipped church just to go out with my friends .
What kind of a Christian am I?
Sigh .

I hate failed shopping trips . -.-
I hate myself .

I can't imagine how incredibly painful it'll be for anyone to see the person they love with someone else .
Neither can I imagine myself being with him.
So it works neither ways :(
Someday it'll be either I watch him journey through life with another girl, or be that girl who gets to spend life with him .


A crush for 3 years and still ongoing .
How difficult will it be to forget him?
I long to talk to him.
But it'll just be awkward .
Picture someone of the opposite gender that you've only seen around and not talked to before , coming towards you and suddenly going, ''Hi, my name is so and so...'
:b
You'll probably be more or less like, ' umm, k. I'm ... So and so um nice to meet you. '

I guess that's okay. But what comes after that? -silence -
:(

Fairy tales are meant to be fairy tales . They don't turn into reality.
Neither will a handsome, smart and rich guy with a good heart marry a girl who can hardly speak in proper sentences , overweight and have lots and lots of bad points .
Oh well.
Life still goes on.
Love isn't all there is to life . Though without love , there wouldnt be any meaning to life.

'For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life' -John 3:16

God loved each and everyone one in this sinful world and he gave us the greatest gift of all <3
-----
Sigh.
Life is a tiring journey .
But God has His purposes for every disappointment, trial, obstacle you and i may face .
I can't do anything but wait to see what God has planned out perfectly for me .
Hopefully I'll stop thinking so much. I'm still young anyway.
-----

Baby you light up my world like nobody else , the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed :)
; What makes You beautiful- OneDirection.

So many people are in love with the band . Hahha but not me :)
I just happen to like that particular song & it's the lyrics are stuck in my head ;D
My brother got annoyed with me cause I kept repeating the same lines over an over again!

----
Lots of stress approaching :(
O levels , (ok, that's still a long way) , speech that I have to give to the sec 1s, prefect duties ( I'm the IC :/) , CNY skit , studies , volleyball competition , piano playing plus exams in the later part of the year .
AHHHHH.

God, help me in everything I do :)
That I may glorify Thee .

-----
It's going to be a busy month! ;)

Today indeed has been a much better day ! Many more reasons to thank God for . Prayer does work . Truly, it does ;)

School wasn't that much of a torture today. I quite enjoyed the time spent there actually (:
Though most of the lessons were filled with teachers going on and on about their subject , I managed to stay awake & pay attention .

Ah well, hopefully my school life will continue to be a pleasant one . Filled with many pleasant & happy moments :D

Again,
THANK YOU LORD <3
I know You've been helping me lots through the day :)))))

Sigh, school has begun.
Another year of hardwork and stress.
Today was the first day of school, and I hated it the minute I stepped into the school's compound .
1. Almost tripped while walking to parade square .
2. Get insulted at the parade square .
3. No sense of belonging at all .
4. Missed my prefect meeting & now have no idea about my duties am the events taking place .
5. I should stop complaining though I'm hating it so much.
-.-
Ugh, I fail as a Christian .
I've failed to shine for God .
Feel so hopeless .
Lonely .
:(
I just feel like self studying at home for 2 years and just take O levels on the same dates as everyone else .
.....

Life's great but ...
I guess It has it's ups and downs

"Like an ocean breeze, blowing on your face . Like a summer sun, with it's warm embrace. Like a gentle rain, plays a symphony. That's what I want my praise to be ;) "

That was part of the song, " My Praise" . :D
The song is stuck in my head cause it's so catchy & meaningful and maybe one day i'll be able to play it on the piano ;)

My holiday has been quite fruitful .
DVBS, Youth Camp, Orientation , Volleyball trainings, Family outings, church outings , clique outings etc .
Yeah :) I've quite enjoyed the 2 months break .
It saddens me that i'll have to go back to school next week on tuesday.
I havent completed my homework though i've already printed all of them out .
I just dont feel like using my brain to think .
:(
I'm definitely going to suffer in school.
Sigh .

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR (in advance)
2012.
Year of the Dragon .

I love you CN , and i don't know if I always will . But it really hurts to have to do this .
Maybe you not attending youth camp when you were supposed to was a sign God gave to me. I prayed for a year for you to come . Earnestly , diligently I did . But God's answer was either a NO or a WAIT.
So I'll just wait till im older and let God do the work .
It really hurts to have to avoid you . To have to try to stop thinking about you and going crazy about you w my friends .
Thanks for all those precious memories anyways .

:)

KNOWING YOU JESUS, KNOWING YOU. THERE IS NO GREATER THING . YOU'RE MY ALL, YOU'RE THE BEST, YOU'RE MY JOY MY RIGHTEOUSNESS, and I LOVE YOU LORD <3
Thank you Lord for showing me the way .

Define happiness :
Knowing the Lord and having a relationship with Him :)

HELLOHELLO :)
So as the title mentions, this shall be my first & last post of the week ( Sunday's the 1st day of the week) cause ill be going for camp! :D

IM SO EXCITEDDDD ! It's really fascinating how time flew by so fast without me realizing .
*zooooom* and it's already December .

Mixed feelings .
Sad cause the school days are coming back again and happy cause youth camp is here <3

Anyway, I learnt a lot in church yesterday :)
Its true . Without God, life really is meaningless . But with God, your life transforms & you'll find your purpose for living :)
For God so loved the WORLD that he gave His only begotten Son .

Hmmmm, GOD LOVES YOU.
You might have been doing really good deeds or been the totally opposite by doing wrong . But God still loves you ya ? :)

So I really wanna thank God for everything & my leaders plus batch and group mates <3 hhehhe.

-------
OKBYE :) I NEED TO GOOOOO!
Ciao till next week!

I'm not missing school AT ALL :D
Cause I'm not prepared for another year of focusing in class and wrecking my head cause of the workload .
HOLIDAYS ARE LOADED WITH AWESOMENESS :))

I wonder why people want holidays to come quickly , yet when they're here, they'd rather be back at school.

Okay, maybe DVBS this year didn't turn out to be what I expected it to be . Maybe it's cause we've all grown up and now find things that we used to deem as fun , boring .

Well, actually it depends on the kids .
My group this year consisted of p1 &2 kids and not forgetting to mention, very restless ones :(
Okay, I shouldn't be complaining .

For God loves a cheerful giver & since I volunteered , I should just glorify Thee through my actions .
BUT MAN, IT'S SO DIFFICULT . Especially to control my temper when they are really annoying , do the wrong things , hit & scold the leaders or just keep talking non stop.
They're kids, I understand , but still ...

Or maybe it's the fact that my mind is boggled up with so many things that I can hardly concentrate on camp and the kids themselves .
I'm thinking of youth camp, of CN, sleeping , DVBS ending . Yeah, and a lot of other things .
I SHOULD NOT CARE ABOUT BOYS RIGHT NOW AT MY AGE UGHHH.

----
Anyway, the DVBS outing today was a failure . Rain .
Plus the fact that the field was muddy, hence the kids were unwilling to play all the games .
Sigh .

---
Went to Vivo after that & shopped around before eating dinner .
Heheh, bought gorilla's Christmas present . Which is really nice (y)
and also some gummies for camp !
Awesomeeeeeeeeeeee .

I shan't go into the details, cause I'm really exhausted and I'm dying to have a nice warm bath before sleeping :)
Tomorrow is going to be a very very very very long day .
GOODNIGHT ;)

So as the title mentions about how little things in life can make you happy , I'm therefore really happy cause of those little things :D

Hahahah, firstly, I saw JN after such a super duper long time <3 I miss that guy. Hope he comes back to YP someday . All those memories of playing catching , blind mice , Etc with him, my bro and c are still etched in my mind . :( I miss my childhood days . Cause as we grew up, we've separated and gone our own ways .
No longer sharing those innocent thoughts or times of play .

---
Haha just hope he returns :)
And sx, mel, and a lot of other people who have disappeared from YP .
Second little thing that made me happy , CN's presence .
I don't care ( okay, maybe I do , but not THAT much) if he doesn't notice me or talk to me . As long as I see him, thats sufficient for me <3
I might be crazy over him.
I might love him.
But if it isn't God's plan to be with him, so be it . In His time, He will do what He will do :)

3rd little thing that made me happy:
My piano skills have improved :)
And I'm hoping to be able to play for SS and YP someday!
Maybe next year, cause AJ said that I'll have to try or else I'll never succeed .
:)

4th: I had a really good dinner (y)
5th: DVBS IS TOMORROW. IM NERVOUS BUT EXCITED! ^^

Okay Byeeeee :)

It's been such a long time since my family spent some time together :(
But at least we went out to eat and play yesterday (tho without someoneeee. Who was still sleeping -.-)
<3 table soccer / fuse ball? (idk)
Hahaha, my parents won my bro and I in both the game . What a pity :b
We were screaming and laughing throughout ;)

Then lunch @ some restaurant .
Which took really really long to serve our food .
But it was overall a good dining experience . 7/10

YP :D
Second advent of Christ .
Sometimes I really don't know whether to be scared or happy for the rapture .
Learnt a lot that day.

Monopoly deal & volleyball :)
I've still no idea how to play MD. It's so confusing :(
Playing volleyball was fun :D
Tho' I was disappointed that we didn't get to play captain's ball. Miss it soooooo much !

--------
IM UP EARLY TODAY( again)
And I will be for the next 3 days too .
Hohoho, DVBS :)

早安你好 ：）Hahaha I remember when I was young , I didn't know Sunday was 星期天。I thought it was 星期七, and everyone laughed at me cause I wrote it that way.
Oh well, I never liked Chinese .

----
I had a nightmare about my parents leaving me behind at home and I screamed out 'WHY?' , and woke up .

Lack of sleep .
Lack of sleep.
I need to sleep .
But I can't sleep.
This feeling really sucks.
Sleep . Sleep. Sleep. Sleeeeeeeep :(

Okbye.

(God's plan, not coincidences )
Don't know why my title is messed up, TSK blogger :/
Hahahha, love the title .

Saw quite a number of people today while I was out (:
Jingchung, I forgot what their names are , Belva , winda & that donkey Jianing with her 'boyfriend'.
I also saw Glenson and cass @ city link the other day :)
Tirzah also saw her relief teacher & her classmate ! :)

It's kinda cool cause I was hoping to see my classmates during the holidays and i just received jn's reply this morning about piano stuff (:

Didn't expect to see her there!
HAHAHA *winkwink*
Your little secret of ahem is safe with me :D
OH BUT I STILL THINK CN IS MORE HANDSOME THAN THAT GUY'S BROTHER :)
因为他是我眼中的苹果.
He's the apple of my eye - directly translated . LOL.
Okay, dont get me wrong . I'm not thattttt crazy about him.

-----
Anyway, HAD FUN TODAY !
I CANT WAIT FOR YP & CAPTAINS BALL TMR <3

{ WE WERE THE REASON THAT HE GAVE HIS LIFE. Jesus loves me this I know :) } - Man , how cool is that? He died because He loved me .

OHOH, ( Living He loved me, Dying He saved me , buried he carried my sins far away, rising he justified, freely forever, one day he's coming, OH GLORIOUS DAY) ...
I'm in love with that song <3

-----
Anyway, what led to the title was the fact that I heard the song playing while I was in 'Precious Moments' :D
They've pretty cool stuffs there .
-----
Woke up real early in the morning (again)
I'm sure that my sleeping hours ate really messed up and screwed during the holidays . Sleepy :'(
Met Tirzah & went to Clementi mall to shop! ( IT'S SO FAR AWAY)
And in the end, we didnt find anything nice. What a waste .

Tirzah wasted a whole bowl of banmian. TSK. She ate only a few strands before announcing that she was full ~.~
MINCED MEAT NOODLES IS NICE (y) bar chor mee ( or whatever it's called)

Trained to DG, then went to PS :)
Caught a movie there. TINTIN :)
It's funny how they have repetitive names . TIN TIN , Thomson and Thomson . Hahahha :)
2 kids were sitting behind me and they laugh really really loud :D they also kept asking funny questions about the movie to their dad .
I'll rate the movie a 7.5/10 .
The fighting part was a little boring as it got too draggy. But the rest of the movie was exciting ^^

Movie ended .
We walked around and ended up in daiso. Bought those plastic wraps to place cookies in (y)
We're planning to bake cookies for Christmas! CANT WAIT . Baking is WHOOOOO~~ :DD

Walked around more, visiting all the other shops that looked appealing , then homed.


TEEHEE ;)
I feel so unhealthy now . I stuffed myself out of impulse with toffees , 5 whole pieces :'( UGHHH. Plus some sweets and a piece of chocolate .
Okay, EXERCISE TMR :)))

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind .
So when you don't understand,
When you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand,
TRUST HIS HEART <3

He alone is faithful and true. He land knows what is best for you .

Thank you Lord .
For everything .
Really, everything . :)

SMILE :)

I'm never going to drink coffee in the late afternoon ever again.
I managed to sleep only at 3am yesterday and woke up really early in the morning .
I'm worn out and just exhausted .
----
My stamina has deproved :(
Went jogging with HM , but ended up jogging a little , walking a lot and talking too:)
Borrowed books from the library & then shopped a little at AMK .

DVBS IS NEXT WEEK.
A whole blast of excitement but a tinge of anxiety and nerves :(
Hope I'll lead well and also mix well with the rest.
:))))

I know that I'm uniquely made , crafted by God's loving hands .
But I just can't help but wish I had pretty blue eyes, a sharp nose , straight teeth , white complexion and just a HAWT ACCENT:)
I don't want to be someone who speaks singlish .
So I'm bucking up :D
Books after books . I am going to read my way to proper grammatical structures and more profound vocabulary :D

No, not my period . Not yet...
But moodswings, or PMS (pre-menstral syndrome)
The emotions I felt today : HAPPY :)
ANNOYED & ANGRY :(
SAD. EMOTIONALLY TIRED.
I also felt hatred. Towards myself ,
Why? I don't know. Maybe I think that I'm not pretty, not smart enough , not sociable enough. Just sucky in everyway.
On the other hand, I know that no matter what I'm like , God loves me <3
I love talking to God , sharing all u problems and woes with Him . It really makes me feel better <3

---
Walked around bugis with Beth today . Cause she texted me in the morning to say that she needed someone to accompany her ;)
And since I was free... Yeah :)
We were supposed to watch tintin, but we missed the show time :(
So we went shopping instead!
Quite a fail one. But overall, I'm contented and its awesome that she's happy :)

---
SHOPPING AGAIN TOMORROW <3
AND ON FRIDAY <3
Hehe, shopping week. Hope to get really nice clothes and maybe gifts for Christmas.

HMM LEAVE TAGS ABOUT WHAT YOUR WANT FOR CHRISTMAS! :)
No guarantees :p

I wouldn't know whether to forward to the future or rewind back to the past if I had a time machine.
But that doesn't really matter, cause time machines probably will never be invented . So all I can do is live my current life now to the fullest .

Something probed my thoughts today . XP & Javier were talking how stupid it is to fall in love at such a young age , for people to have steads and things of such.
But I can't help it that I like CN.
Apparently , I JUST CAN'T STOP ;(
Ugh, and it's really annoying me .
Cause I don't know if all this will just be a fairy tale , fictional .
:( I'm not good enough for him.

I keep having mixed feelings and thoughts .
One part of me keeps thinking that God is in control of everything and that it's possible for him and me to at least become good friends. But another part of me keeps telling me to give up cause its just impossible .

I really don't know which part of me to trust.
-----
Anyway, went to church in the morning . Felt really happy <3
That indescribable feeling of getting to see that special person after 2 long weeks . I don't need to talk to him as of yet, just seeing him makes me really really really happy already.
(take careeee :) since you're overseas? According to that donkey JN :p)

OKAY, ENOUGH OF HIM. HAHA.

---
Ate lunch w Gloria and her mummy at AMK :) then went to watch the last -0 mins of puss in boots. Which really sucked :/ oh well, it's a show meant for kids anyway.

Bused down to serangoon gardens ,and then walked down to K's house , in the rain. Since we alighted at the wrong bus stop :(((
Played wii at her home, sang HM her birthday song then came home :)

OKBYE. IMY <3

Lol, Derrick.

Man, I really miss you :(

I did not make any wishes at 11:11.
Why? Cause i dont believe that wishes will be fulfilled.
I believe in prayer. Prayers will be answered <3

Anyway, i spent my time @ training today.
Boring as we didn't get to play a match with RVH.
Oh well.
The class outing is also giving me a little headache.
No idea where we should go .
Dont even know if i should be in charge or not . I know i should take responsibility, but seriously? 2E3 doesn't even bother about a class outing. Sigh :(

Met with joshua on the bus and walked back together .
I kind of miss going to his house to play with him, his sister and my brother .
So many memories of my childhood still etched in my head .

:) HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLARA.
God bless you :)))))

I'm so worried for my parents :(

Sometimes i feel so alone and isolated from everyone else .
Others are just busy doing things together and i'm left out .
Maybe i'm thinking too much .
Or maybe it's the fact that i push people away .
I dont want to get too close to people , cause i know i'll get hurt some way or another .
I'm not craving attention .
I dont want people to flock to me like im some superstar.
I just want them to care, to be aware that i'm there and to make me feel like i'm part of something .
When life gives you lemons, make them into lemonade.
I wish I could and i'm trying .

I sometimes also do wonder if i'm really irritating and annoying and annoying.
Cause nobody seems to want to talk to me .
I really dont want to give a damn, but i cant .

That's why, i really think that i think too much at times .
Maybe it's my appearance.
Or my personality.
Or the fact that i have a low self esteem.
I'll just have to build that up then .
Goodbye .

i really hate myself, i really do .

Monday.

Five for fighting - superman , it's not easy <3 :)

Hey deariee, HAPPY (belated ) BIRTHDAY \m/ :D

What does it mean to have Faith?

To HM, CC and Naru .
Babes, cheer up !
Concentrate on the present, and on the future.
Don't look back at the past.
Especially when all it brings is unhappy memories.
And, study hard !
One failure aint gonna bring you down all the way.
Pull yourself up!
Work harder, STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE :)
You can do it, i have faith in you !

-----

School as usual.
Shan't elaborate on lessons.

Stayed back for IPW :)
It was well, alright . Had fun going around collecting stamps . Making them chop on the paper for us though we didn't answer anything . Failure . HAHA.
We also got to eat the different types of food at our booth :D
NOMNOM, YUMMY :D

I love the tapioca <3
SUPER NICE.

----
Stayed back for interclass relay.
Just to watch them run, and kinda of like cheer for them :B
2E3 got first ! :D i almost thought they were 4th or smth, cause they were behind.
But in the end, we won.
CONGRATULATIONS :D to the runners.
Good job people (y)

HEHE, i love 2e3 <3
i can't bear to change classes next year.
Its like tearing all of us apart :(((

sigh .

True, true .
People tend to change . Nobody stays the same.
Either change to become better or to become worst .
I hope I'll change to become a better person.
One who cares for her friends, who doesn't uses profanities and one who tolerant towards others.
I want to be loved and I want to love people.
No more hatred.

------

Star was horrible .
Cause i didn't prepare for the talk at all . So what came out my mouth was mostly utter rubbish.
I probably attained pretty low marks .
Marks for CA2.
Science - Bio -13/20
Physics - 12/20

English - 21/30
Overall - 69.7

Literature - 27/35
Overall - A2/A1 - i forgot :(

I really have to study harder for the E.O.Y examinations.
I really HAVE TO do well .
STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE MAN :)
I will !
JIAYOU.


-----
Interclass.
I feel that 2e3 is more united now <3 somehow .
Hated that we had to play against 2e4 first.
Strong opponents cause of netballers .
Anyway, whatever .
We had fun and we did our best yeah?
Had fun :D

I'm super exhausted right now .
Muscles aching :B

School yet again .
Was pretty excited to go to school, cause the weekends were really boring too.
Staying home all day @_@

Anyway, bused there .
Got back geog and chinese results.
Did, well. Alright :) Thank God i did'nt fail .
28/40 for chinese and 22/30 for geog .
MUST JIAYOU :)

Did a worksheet for maths , discussed some stuff during science , then the end .
DT test. ( :/)

Sports chanbarah.
Sucked.
Hated it a lot .
Waste of my time ~.~

Struggles .
Difficulties .
Troubles .
Irritation , restlessness . Sadness, tears .

Life is full of all that .
But all of us have a choice .
Either to break down , or to cheer and pick ourselves up. And smile :)

---------------

Sometimes its hard to do the right thing.
Chinese compre : " Dont let the world change you, be the change ."
Change to world to become a better place to live in.
A better society .

I dont want to become someone I am not .
I dont want to become someone who will laugh at others.
I'm not perfect.
And not even close to it .
What rights do i have to tease, laugh and critisise others?
Seriously. I'm pissed with myself :'(

But sometimes it's just so difficult to control what i want to say .
Influences. All around me.
The school . So much for learning huh .

It's so easy to miss someone .

All the memories made, makes you reminiscent about the past .

I miss a lot of people . Most who have came into my life, but somehow disappeared .

I miss playing captain's ball at church . And playing blind monkey .
I miss talking over the phone for hours . Laughing, joking .
I miss playing basketball , running, sweating, and sometimes rolling on the floor laughing .
I miss my friends .
I miss my dog </3
He's someone who will just make my day, every single day .
Rolling around the couch . Licking , barking, just being awesome the way he is.
I miss feeding him with his favourite dog food that we could only afford to give once a week .
:(

I miss my urge to study , and actually do it.
I miss baking .

That's why i'm gonna bake on friday <3
I CAN'T WAIT .

I miss APS .
I miss Australia .
I miss going out with my family.

I MISS SO MANY THINGS, PEOPLE, PLACES .
</3

So, the picture says it all . Never give up .

Learning from your mistakes.
Picking yourself up when you fall .
Doing better the next time .
Sure .

----
I can't believe i screwed up so badly for my piano exam.
I practiced so hard for it .
And yet, when the big day arrives, I just HAD TO get nervous.
And my hands just had to start sweating and not co-operating with whatever i want it to do .
Damn .
I feel so demoralized now .
I'm just hoping that i'll be able to pass.
Or all that hard work will just go down the drain . So will my mum's money.

PATHETICME.
=.=

-----
Mathematics is not my cup of tea.
And music is not my cup of coffee.
And i had to have both on the same day .

The maths paper was alright.
I knew how to do everything .
But i'm not sure whether i'll get them right or not.
Well, hopefully i'll get a high A1 :)

#ihatesetnotation.

Geog paper tomorrow.
Never knew .
Till now.
So i have to go and study .
BYE :)

Truthfully, i dont think I am .

So , as we all know, life continues . It goes on, it doesnt stop .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ACE AND WENLIN :D
Aceeee , my childhood friend .
Now, gone . As in our friendship.
Oh well, come back to church soon alrights? :)

Wenlinnnn , STREETLIGHTS * ding*
thats my favourite and best memory i have with you.
We should create more memories tgt? HAHA.

HAVE A GREAT BIRTHDAY PEOPLE! <3

My God is amazing .
One who truly answers prayer <3

I had forgotten to bring my keys . And i only realised when i was just about to reach home.
I prayed that someone would be at home to open the gate for me.
And miraculously, when i reached the doorstep, my brother had just arrived home too.
:D
So, i didnt have to wait long for someone to open it for me :DDD
AWESOME. SERIOUSLY!

----

Okay, so today.
Volleyball CCA sucked.
Warm-ups , 25 laps of jumping of benches, and running with cass :)
Just for the fun of it .
Did'nt get to play match . <-- :(((((
Got shouted at by crystal, sindy and joy .
Seesh .

----
School was boring too.
English exam , i think i'll be able to pass. Just a pass.
Hoping for the best x)
Maths, I CANNOT STAND MATHS LESSONS. D: seriously.
Science , normal. Laughed and joked with xinping :D
DT , laquered our masterpiece , and then slacked .

Common dismissal , lunch , prefect .

THE END :)

Dear Singapore,

I love this year's national day song . <3
Probably going to have gospel practice on national day. But i dont mind, cause i love it :D
And junior girls and guys are going out on the 10th :D
CANT WAIT.
One whole full day of fun and excitement, spent together .
<3 Going to take photographs, run around, laugh like mad, and just ultimately, be happy :D

---
My Friday .
One of the fridays i actually enjoyed :)
Lessons were alright .
Common dismissal was dumb .
Ate lunch @ the canteen , went for the prefect meeting, played volleyball at the parade square , and then went for practice.
Practice was slack as usual. Cause coach didnt come . Actually it doesnt really make a diff whether he comes or not -.-
Useless.

Talked, played.
Waited for the suppliers for the class tee to arrive .
I feel that 2e3 is a little bit more united already :)
<3 LOVE THAT FEELING .
Hope all of us will bond as a class <3
I LOVE YOU 2E3, best class ever!
:))))))

We might be noisy, playful .
But we know how to have fun at the right times.
And when we want to be serious, we can be serious .

----

GOOD MORNING :)

Went for YP yesterday .
Glad i went . Cause the lessons were interesting , and i just love the company of my friends <3
We learnt about Esther . And how God , even though not mention, was there with Esther . Always.
And how God made so many things to happen. They weren't coincidences, nor fate / destiny being fulfilled . But God's works.
<3 I trust that God will protect me and continue working in my life <3 :D

YPJG in charge for COPA next next Sunday!
Excited much!
Hand mimes . Glow in the dark. HAHA, super cool ! :D
Practicing today!

----

Lets see, im done with 8 cards.
Left with like 31 more? Stress ~
But i promised. So i'll keep my promise.
I'll get them done :)

DAMN, ms sri didnt post the lit notes!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STUDY FOR THE CA EXAM TOMORROW?
>:(
seriously uh.
Teachers always say ," I'll post this on the lms, go take it from there" .
And yeah, till now, NOTHING is up there for us to take.
Geog too! WHERE ARE MY NOTEEEEES :(
I think im freaking out for nothing .
But , well, i just want to do well :(

Hello my fellow blog readers !
Haven't been blogging lately as i didnt have the motivation or 'feel' to.
Life has been pretty much normal.
School, lessons, CCA, home.
You know, the usual :)
Lessons have still been really boring. And teachers cant seem to grab my attention.
I tend to feel sleepy , and hit the table ( fall asleep) .
:(
And that results to me not knowing what i am supposed to know.

----
English - I just hate argumentative essays. I'm not going to become a lawyer, so why are they teaching me how to fight a case? Or something like that. I'm not interested in debating either.

Maths - Getting more familiar with the cones, spheres , pyramids and stuff :D
Slowly improving. Hoping to get good grades for CA and SA! so that i can take add maths.

Chinese - Test today . I wrote some han yu ping ying and English words. I'm bound to get penalised for those mistakes i made too D: But overall, i guess im coping well .

Science - Coping well too :D
I can understand the lessons well.
All i need is to memorise my facts and fomulas. And here comes my A1 :D

Geog - 18/20 for the test! Awesome!
Hoping to take pure geog / or just geog in sec 3 ! History is boring :/

Music, PE, CME, PC, Assembly, HnF .
: I havent had a single music lesson yet in the whole term. 4 and a half weeks has passed already. Oh, and my music exam is coming soon! I am totally NOT prepared.
And i'm feeling nervous . I cant seem to memorise my scales properly.
And i cant sight-read well. AND, i cant sing. YES, I CANNOT SING :(

------

God answers prayers <3
I know this is true. Cause really, he has answered a lot of mine.
Some people might not believe in Him, but I do.
Christianity is not a religion, but a term to say that you have faith and trust in Jesus <3
I mean like, He's always there for me :DDD

----

Prayers He answered :
-That i'll do really well for my geog test though i didnt know how to do the paper . ( ANSWERED)
-That life will slowly improve . (ANSWERED) No more emotional hurt and pain. More of fun , laughter and just so many caring friends surrounding me <3
-That he'll talk to me. (ANSWERED) .. He called me at midnight :O
-That my family would be kept safe and healthy always . (ANSWERED, and currently still being)
-That my mum would agree for me to get the DSLR as she was totally against it at first. When i told her the price. .. But eventually, i got it a few days after <3 (ANSWERED)

I pray everyday for true love.
I pray everyday for true friends.
I pray everyday for health and safety.
I pray everyday for a good day ahead.
I pray everyday for the food taken.
I pray everyday for my family and friends.
I pray everyday for him .
I pray everyday, everyday, everyday, that i'll become a better person.
No vulgarities.
No insulting of people.
No gossiping.
No disrespect.

I'm trying. Hard. To change :)

Actually today was'nt that bad :D
Quite thrilling in fact .
School was hmm, interesting :)
Maths, home econs, F&C , chinese, geog.
Had quite a bit of fun :D

Scored 10/10 for geog, and 25/30 for maths.
Not too bad i guess.
CA IN TWO WEEKS, i cant believe it. Time FLIES! :(
Gonna work hard and score well ! Hopefully ...

----
Subway @ TP after school.
Egg Mayo <3
Popular to get some stuffs ( SECRET, HAHA)
then went to kopitiam to sit :)
I laughed like a mad woman. Or rather, girl.
Tears were coming out :D
And people were staring.
But i could'nt help it. I just kept laughing .
BANANA ROSE. :b

----

Volleyball.
Pathetic coach.
Really.
Only know how to sit there and look at his Iphone -.-
.....
I miss coach Jerry!
MISS MISS MISSSSSS!
:((((

Cried today. For like a minute.
Got hit on the ear by the ball.
Did'nt really hurt actually, but i just broke down emotionally.
So tears wanted to just burst out. :/
Then I sprained the same finger again.
For the 4th time.
:(
Ouch.
BUT I DONT CARE, I WANT TO PLAYYY :)


....

I LOVE YOU GUYS <3
AS IN. MY SCHOOLMATES, CLASSMATES, CHURCHMATES, FRIENDS , MUMMY & DADDY <3

thanks for just being there in my life! :D

To these people :

Cheryl - Thanks for everything babe! For making the class tee and also for entertaining me during the fire drill HAHA :D Had a good lame amount of fun playing and laughing <3

Yikming - My EX-darling </3 Aww.
HAHA, thanks for your concern . I'm alright :)
LIFE IS AWESOME . Cause i have all of your , right? :)
Take care of your ankle and leg <3 :D

Hanmin - HAM!
<3 HAHA.
Thanks for doing the geog slides for me .
Sorry i couldnt come online to do it :( So sorry!
And thanks for just being a good friend to me :)
SMILE ALWAYS DEAR, GET WELL SOON ! :D

Xinping - You're always laughing and giving me that stareeee.
HAHA, eyebrows ^^
:)
Thanks for taking the bus with me . And also for making me laugh like crazy and stuff.
For being there :D
<3

Eunice - YOYO.
:D
Recover soon man! :D So i wont have to give you any more of the sweets :b
LOL. Thank you for being retarded just the way you are. Especially singing during Chinese lesson? HAHA, :)

Friends are people who share common interests/goals/excitements with you.
They understand you.
They care for you.
And they are there when they need you.

Will friendship problems arise again?
I hope not.
Okay, so i've been such an ass.
Act cute? Fine, okay, i accept that.
Maybe i should just shut up on facebook.
Like seriously.
Just shut my mouth. Dont comment on anything, dont post anything.
Then maybe problems will be a thing of the past.
:'(
So hurt right now.
I can't tell anybody why.
Please dont make wild guesses.
But yeah, deep down, there's a quieter side of me. Hidden inside. Never wanting to come out.
And there's so much pain right now. I cant explain.
And damn, it hurts just so bad.
Okay, i shouldnt be emo.
Cut the crap.


------

School was as usual , boring.
Certain precious and funny moments <3
but the rest was plain ....
:(
I cant wait till the holidays are here.

So, as the title says, it was family day @ peirce today!
Went to school at around 7.30am :)
Slacked around, explored and did some signs and stuff.
Then i went to become the usherer/money collector/chopper (Person who uses a chomp to stamp someones hand. :D)
4 hrs shift.
Pretty boring :(
But still, had a little bit of fun!
"The Abandoned Child" . Done by 2E3'11 <3
AWESOME! 2nd position in school!
WELL DONE 2E3, HAHAH, good job babes and hunks :)
First was the dunking machine. They earned 900+, according to Mr chan.
-----

What's past is past :)
I'm not hanging on to it.
Shall be happy and move on with life.
Knowing that God has a plan for me.
A good one. An awesome one (:

------

Everytime i tell myself i'm over you, I'm just lying.
Cause i can never get over you.
You're name is stuck in my head.
The texts never deleted, in my phone.
Your face always appearing in front of me.
And just memories of you playing in my head like a broken recorder.
I miss you so much :(
And it just hurts.

I wished God didnt allow me to like any guy.
So that i wont continuously get hurt .
-----

Long chat session with Krysta today <3
Told her my troubles , and she shared her experiences with me.
Helped and encouraged me a lot.
Now, i'm gonna strive to become a better Christian.
To love the Lord and obey Him.
To love everyone else. Including Vanessa . Despite how hard that is.
To stay happy always.
To think positively, and that life is already considered really good :)
THANKYOU <3 totally appreciated.
It's nice to be able to talk to someone who cares. Who is a Christian. Who loves the Lord too (:

-----

Match against Beatty sec.
Won.
But i think i did really badly.
Served out balls.
Didnt block properly.
Receiving not say very stable.
And never got to spike the ball across :(
Wasted. Joy will never let me try again. Cause once bitten, twice shy.
Sigh, she wouldnt take the risk .
....

----
Somehow i dont want to sleep.
I just want to stay here. Doing nth.
Goodness. I just miss you a lot. Like some crazy person.
:(((((((((((

What's so nice about saying the f word?

I still hate that girl.

Today was much better <3
Even though it was kinda boring and stuff.

Went for prefect meeting this morning. After 1 whole week of not going.
Got talked to by WL and josephine :(
And i have to see Mr Ong by tomorrow to get my badge and apologise .
Sigh, im scared.
:( LORD , GIVE ME COURAGE! ..

----

School was okay, i guess.
Star - Slack
PE - Slack.
HnF- Slack. Hehe, i realised i got a text when i checked my phone during recess <3 Brightened up my day man. LOL.
Science- Not too bad :) Hoping to do well in my physics this semester :)
MT - slack.
EL- I slept throughout the whole lesson .. Woops.

Assembly - The best one i ever had in peirce . ( As in given by teachers. Not performance)
About memories, experiences <3

Memories of us are forever etched in my mind ; and heart <3
Good memories to keep, bad memories to throw away and forget :b

Homed. By myself. :/

Did my homework, facebook-ed, listened to some songs, blog.

MATHS TB AND EXERCISE BOOKS, PLEASE APPEAR :(
I cant find them ..

Woahhhhh.

I hate love.
I hate life.
I HATE MYSELF.

Why do i get so emotional?
Why do i keep thinking that people are talking about me?
Why am i such an idiot?
Why am i born this way?

I've got all these negative thoughts in my head.
Maybe i'm craving attention as people will say.
But to me, im just letting everything out of my head.
To write it down.

I cried again today.
For no rhyme or reason.
Just because i felt sad.
Retarded much.
What am i coming to?
I'm telling people to smile and be happy, but i cant even do it myself anymore.
I get so pissed of at the slightest things.
And i just cant stop thinking about the past.
So actually everyone knows what had happened. But only pretended not to.
Nobody told me.

(Nothing to do with my class ppl)

...
FML.
I just feel like im useless.
Worthless.

And tears are coming down again.
DAMMIT LA.
=.=

HELLO :D

1. Volleyball.
2. My love life.
3. Someone's secret i'm very very curious to know about. (not Yikming)
4. I'm just tired. Deprivation of sleep.
5. I realised my studies aint improving. They're getting worse.

So, well, we lost the match again today.
I was at fault. Missed so many of the balls.
Was on the verge of crying, of breaking down. Just because i could'nt accept i was wrong.
I could'nt accept criticism, i could'nt accept scoldings.
I felt like punching someone right in the face then.
But obviously i wouldnt.

Our team was so quiet on court.
It was like we were playing a silent game.
No laughter, no cheers(besides ace), no encouragement (only scoldings) , no calling of names, and no hyperness.
It was like how we played against Peicai.
Why were we like that? i'll never know .
Everyone's mood was just down.
Including mine.
I'm so sorry for making so many mistakes. I'm sorry for not jumping as high as your want me to.
It's not that i dont want to , i did try.
Sorry .

----
I miss you like crazy.
You'll never understand, never know.
I feel like we're so distant.
I just wished we could be closer, much closer <3
I love you <3

----
AHH.
You know, its really interesting to find out who someone likes.
So, yeah, i'm dying to know who someone likes.
Cause its just so unexpected for him to fall in love.
He just seems like that kind of guy who does'nt care a thing about relationships and stuff.
(I'm talking about a senior :b)
Well, im just sooooo curious! Kaypoh :b

---
Okay, i shall get some good rest today .

----
I can't be bothered to study.
I give up.
I dont want to anymore.
DAMMIT :(
I HATE EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT.
NOW INCLUDING ENGLISH.
I HATE ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS.
DAMN.

I should stop saying all those words. Seriously.
But i cant help it, it just comes out naturally.
Habit.

SORRY :(
to my volleyball team mates .
to people i've said nasty things about them behind their backs. (eg. joy i know i should'nt have. )
to coach.
to branden.
to hanmin. I just feel that i haven't been that good a friend to you. :/
to all those i said , SMILE ALWAYS to. Cause i know its hard to at times.
But just try. As how i'm doing now.
;)

I dont know why i'm feeling stressed up, disappointed, moody.
And all these emotions are causing me to get hungry. Very hungry.
And in the mood to just keep eating.
So thats what i've been doing.
Im gonna put on weight again .
Damn.
But i cant help it.
Lets see what i've eaten for today.
3 pieces of bread.
9 pieces of jackfruit (school)
1 sushi
1 plate of kuay teow
2 fish
3 steamed kueh thing.
1 packet of milo ( i drank it, not eaten)
A lot of MIC sweets .

Walao, thats a lot ley ;(
I'm feeling so damn suckish now .
:(((( AND I DONT KNOW WHY.
Okay, maybe i do know why.

1. Volleyball.
2. My love life.
3. Someone's secret i'm very very curious to know about. (not Yikming)
4. I'm just tired. Deprivation of sleep.
5. I realised my studies aint improving. They're getting worse.

Shall elaborate on this things on the next post :)

Never say never -The Fray (y)
Dont let me go, dont let me go, dont let me goooo . <3

1st day of school after holidays.
Pretty much the same . Probably a little better though :D
English was ... I slept in class. :/
But maths, PE and science were all okay okay. Average :)

Went for competition at Peicai.
Sucks.
Hate it there.
Lost to them .
But its okay, we're winners in our hearts, and we know it.
We could have done better though . JIAYOU KAY? we mustnt give up.
Strive harder, do a little more . Together <3
I prayed to God for us to win.
But He didnt give me what i wanted.
He has His own plans for me.
And i'll let Him decide whats best.

:) Do not fear. For God is with me <3
Thanks Jianing for the encouragement :))))

-----

I just hate it how its so difficult to lie to everyone .
But i have to.
My secrets . That only you, me and God knows .
:(
But i guess i kinda got used to it .
Which is bad.
I should stop lying.
But its for my good. Your good. Everybody else's good.
Okay, enough of my weirdo talking to myself. Bye :)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Yesterday was a truckload of fun only because of photography and the company of friends <3

Woke up at 10.50 this morning.

Busy week !

Sigh. Im so bored :(

Hello! I'm back again :)

He healed my broken heart.

The title says it all <3

Friggin' awesome day today <3

Cause i always knew that the day would come when i'm not enough to make you stay.

AIYA.
I should stop holding onto someone who will just keep on hurting me .
Whats the point right?

THANKS FOR THE TAGS BABES ! :)

Tired tired tired.

FML. Fish my life.

Time to let go?

If i have done anything wrong, tell me , i'll improve, i'll change.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JUSTINO <3 I MISS YOU !
You're one of the coolest teachers at APS. IT ^^
See you soon , i hope ! And Alan Tan too <3 :D

HAHA HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RACHEL KOH TOO! :DDD

Training today was shiok.
Why? Cause i sweated like mad again.
I was dripping sweat everywhere after running so many rounds :D
Gross, HAHA, I KNOW! :D
Did running, side steps, cross steps, jumping thing, digging, spiking, receiving. The usual :)
Then went to J8 to have lunch .
---
Trained to Kovan , and took the bus down to PLMGS.
Its dione's school :D just realised .
Man, its huge. And it looks so futuristic with the greyish walls and stuff :D
We got lost inside , and the security guard and the general office staff gave us the wrong directions -.-
Luckily some nice uncle led us to the ISH .

Their court is weird.
...

Lost first 3 matches and won the last 2.
I felt like crying during the second match .
Felt like screaming at the opponents and at coach.
So f...ed up at that point in time -.-

But got better after that :)
MY SERVICE IS AWESOME <3 and everyone agrees HAHA.
the ball is super straight, just over the net :D
And the opponents couldnt receive it for like 3-4 times <3 hehe.

----
Went Nex again for awhile then came home .
Home sweet home :D

----

Dont want to go for training tomorrow.
Coach promised us a hell of a time cause we lost the match D:
sigh.

------

I loved the talk i had with cass on the train :D
Agreed with her totally about something :D
Finally someone knows what im thinking .
..
I want the relationship to be sweet and loving , and close.
Maybe someday it'll be that way .
(:
Hoping for the best i guess :)
I love you dear <3

Another week has passed .

I think soon, i'm going to cough out my lungs and sneeze out my nostrils or something.

Overslept today :(

One day.

I MISS AUSTRALIA SO MUCH.

I want one!

My thumb hurts like crap .

It seemed like sec 1 orientation was just a few days ago. But it has been a year and a few months. Wow.